No Use Crying

It's all fun and games until something upsets the apple cart, so to speak.


Single parenting is not easy, nor is it complicated.  The hardest part, for me, besides having to do absolutely everything- every day, is the logistics of getting the boys to their various appointments and activities, all at the same time.  It's not rocket science, though, all it takes is for me to swallow my pride and ask for help.  Thanks to supportive friends, we work it out.

What throws me off my game is anything that goes wrong.  One little thing that adds extra work to my day can really knock me off track.

Today I really did feel like crying over spilt milk.  Here's what happened...
Dwight poured himself a glass of milk this morning.  He had a few sips and then put it in the fridge.  Yes, I've told him not to do this what feels like a thousand times.  I reminded him two days ago.  He is 11 years old, though, so my expectations only reach so high.  In his mind, thanks to our philosophy of minimizing waste, he was doing the right thing.


Tonight, during the tiresome, yet necessary task of making dinner for the boys, I knocked the glass of milk over- in the fridge.  Insert exasperated sigh here...

My initial instinct was to yell, growl, find someone else to clean it up.  Facts are facts, however annoying, it was my fault and no one else would, or should, clean it up.  So, slightly dramatically, I admit, I cleaned it up.  Bounty paper towels are a staple in our house for a reason.  Spills happen.  In the end of the day, it truly isn't worth crying or yelling over spilt milk.


It's just a bit of a mess.  No one was hurt.  The fridge was due for a little cleaning anyway.  I soaked up the milk, sprayed it down with a water/white vinegar solution and wiped it again.  A half roll of Bounty in the trash and the job was done.  I poured myself a drink, sat down and watched my boys calmly watching The Amazing Race. 

After 14+ months at this job of single parenting, I'm happy to say that that I am still not a yeller.  It's not always easy and is a big relief to know.  An incident like the refrigerator milk spill is a cliche reminder.  It really isn't worth crying/yelling over spilt milk.  Only a handful of things warrant a parent yelling.  It's a hard habit to break, but the kids REALLY appreciate it and actually listen better when parents don't yell.


We are 75% finished with this deployment.  I can almost see the end of the road where I know Horatio will be home and it won't be as much of a struggle to keep my patience in tact.   When Horatio is home, he often helps with the milk spills or pours the drink.  For that, I am thankful.

Controlling the Clutter

When I had only one child, keeping the playroom tidy was no problem.  Fast forward to today and, often, I can't walk a straight line through our playroom, or man cave, as my sons prefer to call it.  I have to meander through the strewn toys, books, remotes, dvds, legos (ouch)...  well, you get the picture.  That is, until I decide I've enough and take control of the clutter.

Here's how I do it, and you can too...

1-  As I have mentioned on this blog before, every few days I call for a 10 minute tidy.

What is a 10 minute tidy?  It's how I get my boys to keep the playroom from getting overrun by the mass of clutter.  10 minutes is a manageable amount of time for the boys to clean up without getting overwhelmed.  By doing this every couple of days, it truly does control the mess.

2-  Location Location Location.  Every category of toys has it's place in the playroom.  Wii games belong in the cabinet, neatly stacked.  Legos belong in large bins and we have smaller plastic drawers for the special Lego items.  Books belong on the shelves, obviously.  Larger toys and games have places in the closets and in large buckets (purchased at Walmart) that line the walls.

3-  Assign responsibility.  Each of my four sons has his own area of responsibility.  Just like the Navy has numbered fleets that control different theaters of operation, each kid in our family takes control over a region of the playroom.  This is very effective because it often prevents mess in the first place.  If Dwight sees Zack leaving remotes and Wii games on the floor of his domicile, he will immediately complain and make Zack put them away so that it is not left for him to take care of in the 10 minute tidy.



These three steps can go a long way toward keeping your clutter under control.  They have saved my sanity, the boys know what I expect from them and how to make it happen.