tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73185529021957610432024-02-29T22:35:30.584-05:00Notes From The Been There Done That MomNotes From The Been There Done That Mom...
No nonsense parenting tips and stories from a Parenting Coach, Navy Wife, Special Needs Mom, Academic Writing Coach and Teacher...
Also see www.DeploymentDiatribes.com for our adventures as a military family.BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.comBlogger110125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-2383642130601476452014-02-26T12:13:00.000-05:002014-02-26T12:16:02.345-05:00Teach Your Toddler To Drive<span style="font-size: small;">It feels like yesterday my oldest son, Zack, was a five year old kindergartener and I was busy taking care of him and his two younger brothers. Now, seemingly suddenly, he is nearly 16 years old and the youngest of his three younger brothers is now in kindergarten.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Monday night, Zack, Horatio and I attended a mandatory driver education lesson for parents and kids. The issue that was most stressed during the lesson is that parents are the biggest influence on teen driving habits.
I believe this theory 100%. It's like everything else we do as parents. <b>We have to model the behavior we want to see in our kids.</b> It's as simple as having good eating habits, not yelling and losing our temper when we get upset, and making our bed when we get up in the morning. If we want our kids to have positive behaviors, <b>we have to show them</b> how to do it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">As our kids get older, the modeling we did when they were younger, good or bad, will become evident. The thing is, you can't model bad behavior and then suddenly tell your child: toddler or teen, to do as you say and not as you do. Our kids are watching our every move. We are their biggest influence. We can't drink to excess in front of our kids and then expect them to listen when we tell them alcohol and drugs are bad for them, just like we can't practice poor driving habits and expect them to follow the rules. We have to start when our kids are small. It's hard to imagine the adorable two year old as a teenager, but it happens before you know it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">At Monday's driver's education class, the teacher and school police officer both stressed the terrible influences of distractions on drivers, especially young drivers. Among the most dangerous distractions, is a cell phone. <b>Drivers talking on the phone are four times more likely to crash</b> and <b>drivers texting are 23 times more likely to crash</b>! Driving while talking is equivalent to driving while intoxicated. It doesn't feel like we are distracted by talking on a cell phone, but studies have proven otherwise. <b>If a call is important enough to take, it's important enough to pull off of the road to take it.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It is easy to spot the drivers who are talking or texting. They are slowing down and speeding up erratically, they are weaving over the lane boundaries, making sudden stops and missing their highway exits.
See this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ysbk_28F068" target="_blank">video</a> of a study showing how truly distracting the phone can be. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The evidence is clear. Turn your cell phones off in the car. Parents can download apps to disable their children's phones in moving cars: www.otterapp.com and www.getizup.com are two good ones.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Texting and driving is severely disabling to a driver. Texting takes the eyes off of the road for 30 seconds, or more, at times, during which a car can travel hundreds of feet, basically making the speeding car driverless!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Please watch this moving video about the real life effects of texting and driving.</span></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Do not let yourself or loved ones be affected by tragedies like these.</span></span></b><br />
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Start teaching your toddlers/elementary schoolers/all children safe driving habits now. It's not too late!BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-82321978485840726622014-01-16T16:14:00.001-05:002014-01-16T16:14:22.113-05:00The Act of Giving SelflesslyTo see the act of giving selflessly, one need only look at <a href="http://www.life-edu.org/lois-pope.php" target="_blank">Lois Pope</a>.
After a lifetime of philanthropic efforts, devoting her time, energy,
and financial resources to a host of admirable causes, her most recent
focus has been on the disabled veterans of America. Recognizing the need
to provide recognition for those who have been injured while serving
their country, she became co-founder of the LIFE Memorial Foundation.
Thanks to her tireless dedication, she has been instrumental in the
erection of a Memorial that highlights the service of living veterans
who have been disabled through the traumas incurred by war. This
Memorial will be completed in thanks for their service and sacrifice, a
reminder to every American about the price that has been paid for our
personal freedoms. The Memorial is a tribute to all disabled veterans
throughout our nation's history as well and any to come.<br />
<br />
Ms. Pope has actually given a substantial amount of money, nearing $10
million, to see the Memorial come to fruition, a small gesture when one
looks at the big picture of living disabled veterans today that have
amounted to a staggering statistic of three million. The Memorial will
be a permanent fixture in Washington D.C. and a symbol of great pride
for anyone who has taken up the flag of the United States of America
only to face injuries that may linger for a lifetime.<br />
<br />
A History of Generosity<br />
A look back over the years proves that Ms. Pope has not been idle,
exhibiting the true spirit of giving in many ways. Her interest in
disabilities can be seen nearly twenty years ago, when she made a
generous donation in the impressive amount of $10 million to establish
the LIFE Center in her name at the University of Miami. The main goal of
this center is to perform groundbreaking research in order to discover a
cure for all forms of paralysis. In recent years, Ms. Pope has also
demonstrated an interest in the promising field of stem cell research,
donating additional funding to this admirable cause as well. <br />
<br />
In addition to monetary donations, Ms. Pope has given the gift of her
time by serving on various boards to offer her insights and support.
From the Colin Powel Center to Florida Atlantic University, she has
played a key role in important decision-making. Not content to rest on
her laurels, she has also made charitable donations on a global level,
looking beyond American soil in order to have a positive impact on the
world. Israel has received ambulances thanks to Ms. Pope's efforts and
hundreds of thousands of dollars have made their way to women in Sudan
by way of the Genocide Response Team. <br />
<br />
President G.W. Bush held Ms. Pope in the highest esteem, proving his
admiration by granting her the Daily Point of Light Award. She is a
shining example of how one person can have such a positive influence on
so many, using the advantages of her social position to improve the
lives of others.BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-71324774436182331592013-09-02T10:40:00.002-04:002013-09-02T10:40:54.356-04:00Scholarships for Military Dependents<!--[if !mso]>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A Texas Program for Veterans</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmMWj1upzIqjetK6oG0kWQuWVyvS8tlesJX5NMMrs51aXTerZ4U64H-CEZSXvF7oSXmE2j8AfwmnFU7imwLqlijYi3j0V-RLerv_VExsXqtJmEcQdanaYh8ZA4Eh7baano1PCUb2hvFiJW/s1600/link+vehicle+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmMWj1upzIqjetK6oG0kWQuWVyvS8tlesJX5NMMrs51aXTerZ4U64H-CEZSXvF7oSXmE2j8AfwmnFU7imwLqlijYi3j0V-RLerv_VExsXqtJmEcQdanaYh8ZA4Eh7baano1PCUb2hvFiJW/s1600/link+vehicle+1.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Veterans who are returning home to Texas are in for a lot of
luck. Recently, the Texas Workforce Commission (TWC) </span><a href="http://www.ntxe-news.com/artman/publish/article_84151.shtml"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">announced</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
that they awarding over $1 million to financially support the College Credit
For Heroes workforce development grant at over nine different colleges and
universities throughout Texas. This workforce development grant, launched in
2011, was created to help translate the skills and knowledge of military
servicemen and servicewomen into college course credit. This is done to allow
easy transition into the workforce. <br />
<br />
Texas Governor Rick Perry believes that expanding this program will help
returning veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan find ease when looking for jobs.
Expanding this program allows servicemen to quickly obtain degrees and
certifications that make them easily employable after leaving the military.
Transitioning from civilian life after spending years away from home can be rough
for some. However, programs like College Credit for Heroes creates sustainable
workforce re-entry pathways for those who are serving the country overseas. <br />
<br />
Central Texas College has played an integral role in expanding the program.
They developed the College Credit for Heroes web portal,
CollegeCreditforHeroes.org; a site that allows veterans to connect with variety
of partner higher education institutions in Texas. Texas is home to over
400,000 Iraq and Afghanistan War veterans and they have the experience and
skill-set necessary to readily enter the workforce. Programs like this give
veterans the opportunity to connect with employers immediately after leaving
service and start a new civilian life. <br />
<br />
Whether or not you are a Texas resident - there are other resources you should
consider after returning home from overseas. For starters, the US Department of
Education is a great resource to scour in order to look for scholarships,
fellowships and other funding opportunities to go back to school. There is even
the possibility to find a </span><a href="http://www.vistamilitary.com/spouse-dependents/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">scholarship
for military dependents</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. If are a
serviceman or servicewoman with teenagers on the verge of going to college;
there are funding opportunities available through various nonprofit agencies
that provide transition counseling services to veterans and their families. <br />
<br />
Also, the Obama Administration has taken great steps to reduce student debt,
especially for those who have served in the armed forces. Veterans have the
opportunity to seek student loan forgiveness for pursuing careers in the
military and other nonprofit organizations. Also, veterans should look into
state-based scholarship programs. States like New York and Illinois provide
education assistance to veterans and their families.</span></div>
BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-33003569657826586582013-01-28T16:11:00.000-05:002013-01-28T16:13:36.932-05:00Valentine Pretzel, Hersheys Kiss, M&M treats<div class="detail-ingredients">
This is a fun activity to do on a cold or rainy day. Colors can be modified for any holiday. Kids of practically every age can get involved in making this fun treat.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKYfNi9jfgwov26ymxexYWe6oUkmhN47jyPuQrAnUyybccwcphHwz1dYrrHFkTBLMhTeUe1Q_yPwLs22pW-1nJ_1ikVh94bpqWHSg95Au32bKOjVVlvdUncMXsBOXGYdfnlfu6zsPZtImB/s1600/hearts+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKYfNi9jfgwov26ymxexYWe6oUkmhN47jyPuQrAnUyybccwcphHwz1dYrrHFkTBLMhTeUe1Q_yPwLs22pW-1nJ_1ikVh94bpqWHSg95Au32bKOjVVlvdUncMXsBOXGYdfnlfu6zsPZtImB/s400/hearts+5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
These treats are salty and sweet and make delicious and cute Valentine treats to share and enjoy. Enlist the help of your kids.<br />
<h2>
What you'll need</h2>
<ul>
<li>Bite-size, knot pretzels (they look a bit like hearts)</li>
<li>Hershey's Kisses (you choose your favorite type)</li>
<li>M&M's candy (valentines colors or other to suit the season)</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="detail-instructions">
<h2>
How to make magic happen</h2>
<ol>
<li>Heat the
oven to 200 F. Set bite-size, twisted knot pretzels (one for
each treat) in a single layer on a cookie sheet lined with foil or parchment
paper, then top each pretzel with an unwrapped Hershey's Kiss.</li>
<li>Bake for 4
to 6 minutes until the chocolate looks shiny but retains its shape. Kisses will feel soft when touched with a wooden spoon. Remove the cookie
sheet from the oven and quickly press an M&M's candy into the
center of each Kiss.</li>
<li>Allow the
treats to cool for a few minutes, then place them in the refrigerator
to set, about 15 minutes. Enjoy and Share!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglwh9CmZx-cD7zefiHUmQlq16mDmUYtk8o2KbrmTV52DZlkT4LbVc-eZHylZE6OVZKYTV-UqnyzHg_2g_5L0LtGMYXYzKvnZlqrC-HrCk6yvaYN5VzTFMH8Y9yaCn7vWfIzRo5lKfAVVwN/s1600/hearts+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglwh9CmZx-cD7zefiHUmQlq16mDmUYtk8o2KbrmTV52DZlkT4LbVc-eZHylZE6OVZKYTV-UqnyzHg_2g_5L0LtGMYXYzKvnZlqrC-HrCk6yvaYN5VzTFMH8Y9yaCn7vWfIzRo5lKfAVVwN/s320/hearts+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNO7-YXILEegQFd33UEC2Ckud4FOV5sNj_NWUaGGlk05yiI3wkPJCJszQFnB8LUnAjQykAIegfC446tDGIV3gJpwDdhTuuVEyEm1zpF358ks3ZX7Mm1SgPsVYTaBKQGBT8IAHLDVuLGbKN/s1600/hearts+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNO7-YXILEegQFd33UEC2Ckud4FOV5sNj_NWUaGGlk05yiI3wkPJCJszQFnB8LUnAjQykAIegfC446tDGIV3gJpwDdhTuuVEyEm1zpF358ks3ZX7Mm1SgPsVYTaBKQGBT8IAHLDVuLGbKN/s320/hearts+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyvGtCDWsay4WM4QG6YCx7kNaUsoADU3lhsjAAD_1LoXZQbUaJSimLxGWK0cF8gJTpIkPi4VltYaNqViaKzabvH9R1ND6vFmuIG0qr0kUB9kd-CwqkkdSKvjHB3aRvQTHaJNM72RSUpV3L/s1600/hearts+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyvGtCDWsay4WM4QG6YCx7kNaUsoADU3lhsjAAD_1LoXZQbUaJSimLxGWK0cF8gJTpIkPi4VltYaNqViaKzabvH9R1ND6vFmuIG0qr0kUB9kd-CwqkkdSKvjHB3aRvQTHaJNM72RSUpV3L/s320/hearts+3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
We made half with classic milk chocolate kisses and milk chocolate M&Ms and half with dark chocolate kisses and dark chocolate M&Ms. 100% Delicious!</li>
</ol>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXpeaBObC0T0q2uaiafVhKl8YFsM9XQQBrj3T3-w6uiZtqTx5j3kdp5-pzSRXAfLFyRI3Ry15jaWhyniEkXpTDbckiXLe3K-On3815MMkSEuaHrX1HykS4Z-sYidLdiRrzIqTJtabvfwg3/s1600/jed+hearts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXpeaBObC0T0q2uaiafVhKl8YFsM9XQQBrj3T3-w6uiZtqTx5j3kdp5-pzSRXAfLFyRI3Ry15jaWhyniEkXpTDbckiXLe3K-On3815MMkSEuaHrX1HykS4Z-sYidLdiRrzIqTJtabvfwg3/s320/jed+hearts.jpg" width="260" /></a></div>
<br />
<ol>
</ol>
</div>
BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-52868129883013229292013-01-04T11:26:00.002-05:002013-01-04T11:26:51.881-05:00Parenting is the ProblemHere's my take on how we can prevent future mass tragedies like the
one at Sandy Hook. It's all about parenting practices, reinforced with
responsible gun ownership.<br />
<br data-mce-bogus="1" />
Read all about it on Yahoo: <a data-mce-href="http://voices.yahoo.com/the-problem-starts-home-11951990.html?cat=25" href="http://voices.yahoo.com/the-problem-starts-home-11951990.html?cat=25" title="http://voices.yahoo.com/the-problem-starts-home-11951990.html?cat=25">Parenting is the Problem</a><br />
<br />BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-67148938305104805612013-01-03T10:16:00.003-05:002013-01-03T11:35:36.269-05:00Détente in the Mommy Wars<span style="font-size: small;">I am very opinionated when it comes to parenting. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I know this about
myself. I have a blog for it. It's no big mystery. My friends and
family know me as the Been There Done That Mom for a reason. I do,
however, in my daily life, usually keep my mouth shut, unless my opinion
is solicited. Parenting styles differ, and one can never tell where
another parent is coming from, so standard parenting guidance might not
apply. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I am quite happy to offer my assistance whenever I am asked, and
while I do sometimes get paid for it, most often, the advice I give is
free.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I take umbrage, though, when advice is given to me,
unsolicited. I am particularly put-off when said advice is regarding my
youngest. After all, I have Been There and Done That three times
already. Any mistakes I've made, I am probably going to make again with
my fourth. Fair is fair.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">So, last week, in the parent waiting
area at my youngest child's preschool, when a well-meaning
grandmotherly-type inserted herself into a battle of wills I was having
with my nearly 5 year old, Harold, I could barely contain my inner mommy
warrior. She ignited a fire in me and I was ready for battle.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">It
was Harold's beloved teacher's birthday and all of the kids were
signing her card. Harold is a feisty young lad and despite the fact
that he signs his name in his classroom as he enters each day, he
decided he didn't want to do it right then. Like many children his age,
Harold can be pretty grumpy when I pick him up from school. Just two
months into the school year, he has yet to adjust to the schedule of
having school every morning and since he gets wound up and overtired, he
doesn't get as much sleep as he needs. I know that crabbiness is a
natural byproduct of a busy schedule for a four year old. I have
learned to cope with it, though, and have set techniques I use to deal
with his mood.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><a data-mce-href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/cartoon-clip-art-scolding-old-woman.gif" href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/cartoon-clip-art-scolding-old-woman.gif"><img alt="" class="aligncenter wp-image-892" data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/cartoon-clip-art-scolding-old-woman.gif" height="284" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/cartoon-clip-art-scolding-old-woman.gif" title="cartoon-clip-art-scolding-old-woman" width="255" /></a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br data-mce-bogus="1" /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">So,
when the 60 something woman sitting at the table where Harold held the
pen in his hand, refusing to put said pen to paper, inserted herself
into the situation, I snapped. She boldly told me to just let it go and
write it for him. She went on to say that she had raised her kids
already and knew that it is just easier to write it for them and pretend
they did it themselves. I think it was her high and mighty tone,
accompanied by an eye roll, and her insinuation that she had experience
with preschoolers that I did not, was what set me off.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">In
hindsight, I know that I should have just smiled and kept my mouth shut
but, wrong time-wrong place, I guess and I was not to be shut down this
time. I responded quickly, telling her this was my fourth preschooler
and that I too had, on occasion, signed my children's names for them.
But, once I tell one of my kids to do something, I don't back down.
It's a basic rule of parenting. 'No means no' and 'do it means do it
now'! I resented her conceited air and was insulted by her rush to
judgement and insertion of what I am sure she deemed as words of wisdom.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">My
words of wisdom when it comes to parenting advice: Keep it to yourself
unless you are asked for it or a child is in danger. Last week's
unpleasant experience has driven that philosophy home for me. If I ever
offered unsolicited, unwanted, parenting advice, and I am sure I have, I
apologize. I meant no offense. I will continue to do it in print, but
will keep my thoughts to myself when I am away from my computer. I do
not want to contribute to the oft referenced 'mommy wars,' which are a
waste of time and energy. Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines are
fighting an actual war right now. "Mommies" should exert their energy
where it is needed, raising their kids to be good citizens of the world,
rather than battling each other on the homefront.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">In the end, I
broke my rule of 'no means no' and 'do it means do it now' because the
basic rule my own dear mother taught me, 'if you don't have anything
nice to say, don't say anything,' guided my actions. I figured it was
better to get it done and get out, before I said something I might, or
might not regret, but that's another story altogether.</span>BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-71207348171043936462012-08-12T16:19:00.002-04:002012-08-12T16:22:34.889-04:00Question from a Reader<div>
I received this request for help via my site, www.EveryBabyBook.com <br />
<br />
Dear Been There Done That Mom,</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
My husband and I are trying to devise a system to help our 4 year old son get out of
the house in the mornings to go to school He NEVER wants
to go to. Of course, once he's there, he is usually pretty happy. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Can you help?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Here are some sticking points:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
1. When given the choice, Bobby (<i>name has been changed</i>) would rather stay with me and run errands than go to school.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
2. Transitions are a terrible challenge. If Bobby isn't finished with a task, he will have a major tantrum if I want him to do something else.</div>
<br />
3. Our weekend routine is not the same as our week day routine, do we need to keep it the same?<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Thank you.<br />
<br />
At My Wits' End<br />
<br />
<br />
Dear Wits' End,<br />
<br />
I can help but it will only work if you commit to it and do
not waver at all. Kids of all ages will latch on to what they see as
your weakness and if you give in even just one time, they will remember
that, not the times you stuck with it, therefor, if you make a
statement, you have to stick with it, even if you later regret it. You must be consistent. Say what you mean and mean what you say.<br />
<br />
As far as going to school , I see this time and time again
with the families I coach. Of course Bobby would rather stay with you. You are
his world. It is your job to teach him that the world is bigger. It's
not scary, it's great and that you are happy he is going, have no doubt
he is safe and happy there.<br />
<br />
In the morning, be clear that today is a school day and it's
great. You can say something like, "today is going to be a fun day at
school and when I pick you up after <i>lunch/circle time/whatever</i> we will <i>fill in the blank</i>." This will give him a clear idea of the series of events in his day. <br />
<br />
At drop off, if carpool line is offered, use it. Do not walk him
in to the classroom unless that is the way it is done. Stick to the
routine the school lays out. Unstrap the carseat and get him out
and hand him over to the teacher. One kiss and hug, cheery
goodbye and see you <i>after fill the blank</i>. Then leave. Even if
he is crying. It's a show, for you. As you say, he's happy there.
DO NOT
EVER offer him a choice of school or errands or anything else. A school day
is a school day, end of discussion. Weekends are a different story and
you can run them however you want.<br />
<br />
For the morning routine, I suggest you make a list, perhaps with
pictures, on a paper. Then, have a meeting with Bobby.
Tell him it is a family meeting to fix some things that aren't working
right with the family. You can say it is for mommy, daddy and Bobby.
Talk about the weekday routine. Show him the list: this is the list of
everything we need to do every morning. Read it to him and show the
pictures as you do so. Tell him that after he does each thing on the
list and is ready to go, he gets to put a sticker on the chart, or color
in the box, or whatever (you'll need to print off a success chart of
some kind from the internet, put it on the fridge or some other
permanent place so he can monitor his success.) Make it clear, when he
colors 7 boxes, the reward is xxx. At the meeting, tell him, this is
the way things will be from now on. It is a change but a change for
good for the whole family so everyone can be happier. Say that mommy
and daddy make the rules for the family and we all follow them. When
it's time to get up, we get up and start our day, do the list and ...<br />
<br />
Also, he can't play/draw/build whatever, until his list is complete in the morning.<br />
<br />
If
he is defiant, use time outs. At the meeting, tell him that from now
on, if he does not listen he will get a time out. Use the 1-2-3 magic
technique after you explain it to him. Tell him, if he misbehaves you
will say "1" as a warning, then if he keeps it up, "2" and then "3, time
out" time out is in the corner or on a step or some other place where
he cannot interact with you and it is 4 minutes. If he is yelling and
mad, that's ok, that means it is working. <br />
<br />
Afterwards, you can hug him and say, "you had a time out because
you..." make it short and to the point, no discussion or debate. The
1-2-3 technique works into the pre teens. It nips excessive
arguing/debate in the bud. <br />
<br />
If he won't put on his pants to go to school, he goes to school in
his pjs. You can send the clothes in his back pack if his teachers want
him to change, or you can just have him wear the next day's clothes to
sleep at night so you don't have to worry about getting dressed. <br />
<br />
Stay calm in the midst of his tantrums. Tell him you understand why
he is upset, and help him learn to transition. "it will be here when
you get back." If it's a huge problem, try to make sure he doesn't
start something he won't have time to finish if you have somewhere to
go.<br />
<br />
Mornings should be calm, leave plenty of time from wake up to
departure so you aren't pushing/rushing him. A calm voice makes it
easier. I changed my ways with this about 6 years ago and it really
helps. You want to start the day off in the right tone. Kids take your
lead and your mood can affect their whole day. <br />
<br />
I hope this helps, let me know if you have follow up questions.<br />
<br />
I always tell people, Parenting is hard, but if you don't do it right, it gets harder.<br />
<br />
Signed,<br />
Erin<br />
Been There Done That MomBeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-84097839816667545472012-08-12T16:07:00.000-04:002012-08-12T16:07:49.972-04:00<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.circleofmoms.com/top25/Top-25-Military-Moms-2012?trk=t25_Top-25-Military-Moms-2012" target="_blank" title="Circle of Moms Top 25 Military Moms - 2012 - Vote for me!"><img height="200" src="http://images3.circleofmoms.com/images/21352/moms/link_badge.png" title="Circle of Moms Top 25 Military Moms - 2012 - Vote for me!" width="200" /></a>
Please cast a vote for The Deployment Diatribes, my other blog, to be in the top 25 Military Family Blogs at Circle of Moms.
I'm number 3 right now, but in danger of dropping to number 4. Please click for a vote and share with your friends!BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-3905138581040464912012-07-10T14:38:00.000-04:002012-07-12T12:41:54.950-04:00Marketing today and in the futureMore and more businesses are moving from paper to digital for their every day communications and for their marketing needs. As a freelance writer, I depend on email and social networking for all of my communications. In the 21st century, most businesses use email for their business dealings and the medical industry is no exception. In today's day and age, if you don't communicate via email, you a missing an entire audience and are therefore, really missing the boat.<br />
<br />
According to Google, 92% of US physicians use the Internet to get medical information. If you are in the business of marketing to or communicating in any way with physicians, using a company that provides a concise and easy to use email list is essential to your success. You need a user friendly, complete, current and comprehensive <a href="http://www.email-lists.com/physician-database.html" target="_blank">national physician database</a> to fully reach your target audience.<br />
<br />
Pharmaceutical companies, medical equipment companies, and more need help with their marketing. Getting help from an expert to provide the target email lists saves time, effort and financial resources, all the while helping to reach the goal of driving in more business and growing their consumer base. A good <a href="http://www.email-lists.com/physician-database.html" target="_blank">national physician database</a> can help your company reach all of its goals.<br />
<br />
<i>Been There Done That Mom thanks its sponsors</i>.<br />
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<br />BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-10163319623348808382012-05-21T12:11:00.002-04:002012-05-21T12:36:24.148-04:00Bullying hits the homefront<br />
<br />My middle schooler son’s proclamation, on a Friday afternoon, many
months ago, caught me off guard but did not completely surprise me. <br />
<br />
Zack
came home from school and told me that another eighth grade boy slammed
his locker shut as soon as he opened it and then another boy tried to
trip him as he got off the bus. It really did feel like my boy had been
attacked by two armies.<br />
<br />
RED FLAG, RED FLAG! <br />
<br />
I was immediately on high alert.<br />
<br />
"They" say that marijuana and alcohol are gateway drugs, <strong>I</strong> say that locker slamming and tripping are gateway actions to bigger bullying.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a data-mce-href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/hurt-locker.jpg" href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/hurt-locker.jpg"><img alt="" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-630" data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/hurt-locker.jpg" height="275" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/hurt-locker.jpg" title="hurt-locker" width="315" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
We
deal with a lot on the homefront: absence of a father on deployment
overseas and a child with Asperger’s Syndrome for instance, but I have
felt lucky to have dodged the bullying bullet thus far. <br />
I've
read the articles and the blog posts, watched the tv stories and
thought, "thank G-d, at least we don't have to deal with that." <br />
<br />
So,
that Friday felt like D Day to me. The bomb had hit our home and I was
not going to crawl into a bunker (my bed) and ignore it.<br />
<br />
I have a
lot of practice taking strategic action because I am a military
wife and am used to fighting my way through rough terrain.<br />
<br />
Thankfully,
we have great counselors and support at our local schools. I
immediately emailed the counselor and alerted her to what happened and
asked what we should do. She told me to come to school <strong>the next school day</strong>
so we could talk in person. <br />
<br />
So, I met with her and the school Resource
Security Officer. They both assured me, leaving no doubt in my mind,
that they take bullying very seriously and presented the three options
of the next step for us to take:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li> <strong>1 </strong> Do nothing and see what happens (they discouraged this approach, of course.)</li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>2</strong> The counselor has a chat with the offenders,
telling them that the teachers in the area observed the bullying (so
that my boy does not come across as a tattle tale), stress the gravity
of the actions and that if it ever happens again, even once, specific
actions will be taken and consequences will be given. Charges of
assault and court action can result.</li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li> <strong>3</strong> Immediately resort to the legal process by
having the children meet with the school Resource Security Officer and
other administrators and proceed from there.</li>
</ul>
<br />
I opted for number <strong>2</strong>. The counselor, officer and I agreed that we wanted to give the kids the chance to do the right thing.<br />
<br />
So,
we set plan in action. After I left the school, the counselor pulled
the locker bully out of class. She told him what had been seen "by
teachers near the lockers" and what the consequences would be if it
happened again, even once. She also talked with my son so that he would
know that the adults at the school are on his side. For an Asperger’s
kid especially, this is probably one of the most important parts of the
“story.” My Aspie needs to know that the adults in the situation are on
his side and will be there for him, <strong>knowing adults are approachable and receptive helps him feel safe in school. </strong><br />
<br />
The
counselor and my son teamed up to try to figure out the name of the
"tripper" on the bus, and then she took the same steps with the bus
bully.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>The Next Day…</strong><br />
<br />
Zack returned home
from school with shoulders slumped. I asked him what happened and
listened to him tell me that the locker kid held his locker shut while
my boy tried to open it at the end of the day and that the bus boy had
tried to trip him again. To make matters worse, locker boy rides my
boy’s bus and continually blocks his way from sitting at the back of the
bus.<br />
<br />
I called the school counselor who took the next step with
the bullies. I was not told what the step was but was assured the
proper consequences were given.<br />
<a data-mce-href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/bully12-300x300.jpg" href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/bully12-300x300.jpg"><img alt="" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-631" data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/bully12-300x300.jpg" height="300" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/bully12-300x300.jpg" title="Bully12-300x300" width="300" /></a><br />
<br /> <strong>Day 3</strong><br />
<br />
No bullying.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Fast forward, months later</strong>.<br />
<br />
A
few weeks ago, my son came home from school to tell me of a funny
interaction with a child in his class. He and the boy are working
together and having fun doing it. I asked my son to repeat the name of
the boy he was talking about. I asked him, isn’t that the boy who was
bullying you? His response was the best. Better than I could have ever
imagined: “Yes, Mom, but that was months ago. We are over it and are
friends now.”BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-26722107485201423002012-04-29T13:56:00.003-04:002012-04-29T13:56:54.605-04:00Nutella Has Fat and Calories? No KiddingI count myself among the many moms out there who think the lawsuit
Athena Hohenberg, California mother of a four year old, is beyond
frivolous.<br />
<br />
I, too, am the mother of a four year old (and 8 year old, 11 year old
and 13 year old) and I, too, saw the advertisements for Nutella. The
ads call the product a quick and easy way to give kids a breakfast
they’ll want to eat. They say the product has quality ingredients. Of
course they focus on the healthy ingredients, which actually make up
only a small part of the spread, but <strong>it’s an advertisement</strong>! That’s what they do.<br />
<br />
They left out the fact that one serving has 200 calories and 11 grams
of fat, but guess what, peanut butter has even more, at 210 calories
and 150 grams of fat! The sugar content in Nutella far exceeds that in
peanut butter, and therein lies the rub. Nutella contains 21 g of
sugar, but guess what, some brands of granola, considered a healthy
breakfast by most people, exceed that!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="249" src="http://media.treehugger.com/assets/images/2011/10/newsweek-cereal-granola.jpg" width="389" /><br />
<br />
It’s all about reading labels. Hohenberg claims to not have time to
read “all” the labels, but a mom really has to be naive to just count on
the advertisements as her only source of information when buying food
for her family.<br />
<br />
I agree that the advertising changes mandated by the settlement will
be helpful, but the $3+ million dollars going to consumers who claim
their part of the class action settlement could really be better spent,
don’t you think? I can think of several ways right off the top of my
head:<br />
<ul>
<li>$3 million to a handful of food banks.</li>
<li>$3 million to nutrition information programs in under-served schools</li>
<li>$3 million to literacy programs so kids will grow up to read nutrition labels</li>
</ul>
I have bought a jar or two of Nutella for my kids over the years but <strong>I will not be claiming my $4 per jar.</strong><br />
<br />
Nutella DOES sometimes play a part in providing a healthy breakfast
for my kids. The key word here is “part.” Would I give my 4 year old a
spoonfull of Nutella and call it breakfast? No. Would I spread in on a
piece of whole grain toast and serve it with a glass of milk? Yes.<br />
<br />
Moderation is the key here. Let’s use our heads. We parents should
not need a lawsuit to tell us what to feed our kids. I can read labels
for myself and I think other moms can, too.<br />
<br />
I’m sure Mrs. Hohenberg is a great mom and wants to do what is best
for her kids, just like most moms, but suing the company isn’t setting a
great example. It’s putting the blame on someone else. I say it all
the time: <strong>Parenting is hard, </strong>do the job. This includes reading food labels and making good choices for our kids.<br />
<br />
I, myself, will continue to buy Nutella and serve it in the rotation
of other breakfasts my kids eat. Four kids, four breakfasts every day…
variety helps them get a balanced diet and the more choices I have to
serve, the better. If serving something chocolately on a piece of whole
grain, whole wheat bread they would otherwise push away encourages them
to eat it, I’m all for it. Sometimes they eat omelets, sometimes they
eat cereal, sometimes yogurt and sometimes Nutella on bread. I’m the
mom and I can decide what I provide for my kids to eat.<br />
<br />
I’m happy when they go off to school with fuel in their furnaces, ready to learn. That’s the important thing.<br />
<br />
We, moms, work hard to do right by our kids. Meal time is often a
struggle. I prepare the meals and and am happy when they eat them.<br />
<br />
<br />
As I’ve said before:<br />
<a href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/img_22151.jpg"><img alt="" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-526" height="527" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/img_22151.jpg?w=640&h=527" title="IMG_2215" width="640" /></a>BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-78219083751235782832012-04-24T16:01:00.000-04:002012-04-24T16:01:11.731-04:00Dedicated Post: National Child Abuse Prevention Month: Phoenix's StoryThe following is the story of my cousin Loren’s youngest son,
Phoenix. Loren is a single mom to nine, adopted, special needs
children. In honor of National Child Abuse Prevention Month, I helped
her put her son’s story into words.<br />
<br />
<br />
We hope you will read the
story and remember it. Sadly, Phoenix’s story is not unique. In fact,
child abuse is on the rise. In the U.S., a report of child abuse is
made every 10 seconds. Five children die every day as a result of
physical abuse or neglect.<br />
<br />
Here is Loren's story:<br />
<br />
This story is about my son, Phoenix, who will turn 5 this Sunday, April 29. I met Phoenix two years ago, on April 29, 2010.<br />
<br />
On
April 28, 2010, I was given Phoenix’s sister, Tully, a 3-month-old
little girl, as a foster baby, when she and Phoenix were removed from
their maternal aunt’s house because of child abuse.<br />
The case
worker who dropped Tully off at my house told me that Tully had a two
year old brother who had suffered a terrible beating at the hands of his
aunt. He was in his second brain surgery of the day and that he was
not expected to make it through the night. I asked the case worker if I
could call the hospital throughout the night to check on him. I wanted
to, someday, be able to tell Tully what happened to her brother if he
didn’t make it.<br />
<br />
I called every two hours to find out that he
remained in critical condition. The next day, I spoke to a nurse who
referred to him as “a tough 3-year-old boy,” to which I responded, “He’s
not 3, he’s two.”<br />
She then told me that it was his birthday that
day. Hearing that, I took Tully and we went to the hospital to visit
her brother. He was in terrible shape. The doctors had no idea if he
would live. If he did live, it was unclear if he would be able to see,
if he would ever walk or eat or have any cognitive function.<br />
<br />
When we
arrived in Phoenix’s room, he had tremors from all the tubes and wires –
he was shaking all over. Then, Tully started to talk to him, to coo at
him, and his body became still. I vowed that day that we would spend
time with him every day to help his recovery.<br />
<br />
The nurses kept
referring to me as his foster mom and I kept telling them that there was
no way I could take home such a physically sick little boy; I had 7
other children to think about. As time went on, though, I advocated for
him with the doctors, nurses and CPS (Child Protective Services).<br />
<br />
<br />
<a data-mce-href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-1.jpeg" href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-1.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-491" data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-1.jpeg?w=300" height="225" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-1.jpeg?w=300" title="Phoenix 1" width="300" /></a><br />
<a data-mce-href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-2.jpeg" href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-2.jpeg"><img alt="" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-492" data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-2.jpeg?w=300" height="225" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-2.jpeg?w=300" title="Phoenix 2" width="300" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Phoenix’s
condition gradually improved. We found out that he could see, he
started eating better and his motor skills improved. When he walked
down the hall with his physical therapist, I looked at the nurse and
said “there goes my son”. I called the case worker and told him that
Phoenix was coming home with me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a data-mce-href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-3.jpeg" href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-3.jpeg"><img alt="" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-493" data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-3.jpeg?w=300" height="225" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-3.jpeg?w=300" title="Phoenix 3" width="300" /></a><br />
<br />
It
took five weeks for him to be released from the hospital, and I took
him home. He was missing part of his skull for 3 months, in order to
leave space for swelling. Phoenix had no language and very little
mobility. He was still very sick. But, with the help of all his
siblings and with his amazing spirit, Phoenix has made a full recovery;
he can walk, run, talk, eat, think and play like a wild man.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="mceTemp mceIEcenter">
<dl class="wp-caption aligncenter" data-mce-style="width: 522px;" id="attachment_495" style="width: 522px;">
<dt class="wp-caption-dt"><a data-mce-href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-and-tully.jpg" href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-and-tully.jpg"><img alt="" class=" wp-image-495 " data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-and-tully.jpg" height="773" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/phoenix-and-tully.jpg" title="Phoenix and Tully" width="512" /></a></dt>
<dd class="wp-caption-dd" style="text-align: center;">Phoenix and Tully today</dd></dl>
</div>
<br />
Thankfully,
he has no memory of what happened to him. The only evidence left from
his abuse is a huge scar that runs around his head. He is one very
lucky boy and we are so lucky he is a part of our family. We continue to
send pictures to the firemen who saved his life and to the doctors who
worked on him in the hospital.<br />
<br />
<br />
During the process of making
Phoenix officially part of our family, I learned that he first suffered
abuse at the hands of his mother’s boyfriend, in February 2009. The
boyfriend brutally beat Phoenix, who suffered broken bones and a spinal
cord injury that left him temporarily paralyzed on his left side. He
stayed in hospital for three weeks following that incident and CPS
placed Phoenix with his maternal aunt. The boyfriend is currently
serving a 10 year prison sentence. Phoenix’s mother served 10 months in
prison for “Failure to Protect,” and is now on probation.<br />
<br />
It was a
year later that the aunt, while on crystal methamphetamine, threw
Phoenix into the wall or onto the tile floor after getting angry with
him.<br />
<br />
When Paramedics arrived on the scene, Phoenix was clinically
dead. One of the fire fighters later told Loren that Phoenix’s
condition was so bad that he had worked on him so that they’d be able to
harvest his organs for donation.<br />
<br />
We are so happy that Phoenix fought hard to recover and is now a sweet, happy part of our family.<br />
Phoenix’s aunt was never convicted of her crimes, due to lack of evidence of her guilt.<br />
<br />
Click
this link to see last year's news story about Loren and Phoenix. <br />
<br />
It's
best to click the thumbnail of Phoenix's face to watch that video first,
then the one with the firefighter.<br />
<br />
<div data-mce-style="width: 320px;" style="width: 320px;">
<a data-mce-href="http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/dpp/morning_show/abused-boy-says-valley-doctors-saved-his-life-05182011" href="http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/dpp/morning_show/abused-boy-says-valley-doctors-saved-his-life-05182011" target="_blank">Abused Boy's Family Says Valley Doctors Saved His Life : MyFoxPHOENIX.com</a></div>BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-77735790112240962392012-04-21T22:20:00.002-04:002012-04-21T22:32:53.477-04:00Security at HomeWhen we moved into our home, my husband said we needed to get a security system installed. <br />
<br />
He felt family security was the most important thing we could do for our home, before we could do any other projects. He reminded me that he'd be deploying the next year and wanted the peace of mind that we'd be safe, in our home.<br />
<br />
So, I searched the net, researching sites, like <a href="http://www.homesecurityfamily.com/" target="_blank">homesecurityfamily.com</a>, and systems and found ADT to be the best option out there. I set it up with the company and got-the-job-done. The system was installed by a very helpful, knowledgeable guy: doors, windows, motion sensors, smoke alarms, the works, and let me tell you, I am SO happy we did it. <br />
<br />
Horatio has been gone for nearly 17 months now and every night, I rest more easily seeing the red light on my security system key pad, indicating the system is armed. Of course I always check to make sure my doors are locked, but feel secure knowing my home is monitored for security. They also gave us stickers for windows and a sign for the front yard, indicating our house is protected.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIxxC8F92VqeAlnrWFiDWgyV0_-imI3XMtCok2q3tC1ceggh7PCoeYw7Oc2AXPWYE0VN8mX2MYWv2Bw3BR4z91hRMy9ctHOTTKmjsMPoWch49TWV7k0PZGg_38lt0g8u8V31dVZDbYpFgh/s1600/ADT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIxxC8F92VqeAlnrWFiDWgyV0_-imI3XMtCok2q3tC1ceggh7PCoeYw7Oc2AXPWYE0VN8mX2MYWv2Bw3BR4z91hRMy9ctHOTTKmjsMPoWch49TWV7k0PZGg_38lt0g8u8V31dVZDbYpFgh/s320/ADT.jpg" width="295" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
You can't put a price on peace of mind. That's what I always tell my friends when they are considering whether to get a security system or not. What could be more important to spend money on than something to keep your family safe? <br />
<br />
Nothing.<br />
<br />
It's only about $1 a day when you break it down.<br />
<br />
Knowing an alarm will sound if anyone ever tries to get into our house, uninvited, keeps me calm and allows me to be free to worry about anything else that might be on my plate. It's nice to have at least one responsibility left for someone else, while I shoulder everything else these days.BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-4464171955804456902012-04-08T20:57:00.000-04:002015-12-10T00:32:18.984-05:00What's For Dinner?Meal time is a struggle in kitchens across the country, if not across the globe. Mine is no exception.<br />
<br />
I've been preparing meals for my children for 13 years and almost every evening, I dread the question, "what's for dinner?" I don't like to have to make the decision of what to make, I don't like to cook, and I really don't like it when my kids reply to my response with, "eww," or "awwww," or "again?" Doing it all on my own, night after night, during Hortio's long 21 month deployment is tiring.<br />
<div class="mceTemp mceIEcenter">
<br />
<br />
<dl class="wp-caption aligncenter" data-mce-style="width: 501px;" id="attachment_421" style="width: 501px;">
<dt class="wp-caption-dt"><a data-mce-href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/img_2215.jpg" href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/img_2215.jpg"><img alt="www.BuildASign.com" class=" wp-image-421 " data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/img_2215.jpg?w=1024" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/img_2215.jpg?w=1024" height="404" title="Today's Menu" width="491" /></a></dt>
<dd class="wp-caption-dd"><br /></dd></dl>
</div>
I've instituted many policies, with regard to mealtime, over the years. Some have been successful and some have failed. The one I stick to, no matter what, is: <b>"dinner is dinner. Eat it or don't, but don't complain about it."</b><br />
<br />
I have found there are a few key elements to successful mealtime with picky kids.<br />
<br />
<b>First and foremost, ban the complaints</b>. In my kitchen, if you complain about the meal, you get one chance to back down, after that, the offender will suffer consequences, such as loss of dessert, which follows dinner. (More on dessert, later.)<br />
<br />
<b>Require a "No Thank-You helping."</b> Kids should have to try what is served to them. Trying new things is good for expanding their tastes and teaches them good manners for when they are not at home. If they try everything at home, they are likely to make a good impression when served something new while out to eat.<br />
<br />
<b>Always include one acceptable item</b>. I make sure that each meal includes at least one item each of the kids will eat. This way, I know they won't go to bed hungry. If I am serving a new recipe, I might also offer rice on the table. All of the boys like rice, so even if they don't like black bean meatless loaf, after their no-thank-you helping, they can fill up on rice and satiate their appetites.<br />
<br />
<b>Dessert follows dinner</b>. Dessert is not tied to what or how much the child eats. It is not a reward, it is just part of the meal. It took me many years to get to this point. We tried making the kids eat everything on their plates to get dessert. We tried making them eat at least so many bites to get dessert. You get the picture. None of these tactics worked. They only served to make it a mind game for everyone at the table. It drove us all crazy. So, now, as long as the kids eat a no-thank-you helping of each food served at dinner, without complaining about it, they get dessert.<br />
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Sticking to these guidelines helps make meal time enjoyable for my family and it can for yours, too. With so many tasks to juggle, as a temporarily single mom, making the rules clear and constant makes my life easier and the kids' life more predictable in a time of uncertainty during their Dad's deployment. It doesn't always go smoothly, but usually it does and we are all happier for it.BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-24091768425760475432012-03-26T21:27:00.000-04:002012-03-26T21:27:23.144-04:00Homework, HomeworkParents often ask me when they should step in to help their kids succeed in school and when they should back off and let them fail.<br />
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After several years of combat duty on the homework battlefield, I have no trouble encouraging other parents to take the leadership role after some good basic training of the troops. Give them a good foundation of habits and then back off. <br />
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Early in a child's education career, he or she needs our guidance to learn the school's and our expectations and how to meet them. We need to actively show our children how to meet or beat the requirements set by their teachers.<br />
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Many schools even require teachers to present the students with rubrics by which the students will be measured in a given task. When this is the case, a parent can easily go over the rubric with the child and reiterate that the items listed are exactly what is expected of the student. Parents should explain, depending on the abilities of the child, that he or she should meet or beat the expectations of the teacher.<br />
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For a child above the primary grades, at this point, the parent should back off until the end of the task. When the child thinks he or she is finished with the project, the parent can then look it over and make suggestions as to how to make improvements, if appropriate.<br />
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In my own home, I find that second grade is the key age to make a big difference in the path the child will take toward academic success.<br />
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My kids are in grades: Eight, Five, Two and preschool. My Eighth grader and Fifth grader each tested the waters of what they could get away with as far as homework and projects are concerned in first or second grade.<br />
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My now eighth grader, Zack, would feign helplessness. He would ask questions at every stage of his homework. Finally, his second grade teacher, Mrs. Larson, whom I will never forget, said I needed to tell him to do the work on his own. She said he was more than capable of doing the work and doing it well. He was using me as a crutch and if I didn't put a stop to it then, it would probably never stop. She gave me great advice. She told me to make a homework space for him and get him settled and comfortable in it and to tell him not to come out until his work was complete. (Bathroom breaks were permitted, of course.)<br />
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I followed her guidance and, wouldn't you know it, it worked! It took me a while longer to learn my lesson, though, I remember, vividly, the relief map/diorama I "helped" him make during his unit on Native Tribes.<br />
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Now in grade eight, Zack does a pretty good job getting his work done. He overcomes a lot to get there, too. His Asperger's Syndrome throws a lot of obstacles at him but we work together as a team to keep him organized and despite road bumps here and there, he does a great job and my input is more limited than could have been the case. <br />
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We keep a separate calendar, in a prominent place in the kitchen, for special projects and long term assignments so they don't get put off until the last minute and we keep notes on the white board in the kitchen for weekly to do lists.<br />
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My now 11 year old presents slightly different challenges. Dwight asks for help less frequently but if I'm in the room, he will test to see how many questions I'll answer for him. I tried to banish him to a "homework cave" but that method failed with him. He does best working in the kitchen where there is activity going on and does not like to work alone. So, when I find he is asking questions I think he doesn't need me for, I conveniently find that the laundry needs to be transferred, or one of the other boys needs something. Most of the time, by the time I return from completing my task, Dwight has figured out the problem and moved on with the next. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyFEVIkQkba0uCELusbYfVtdbcW8lPAcAFlTM2N0b22O1AEC7_Y36KQ5ppBg9RBcLqaJ6QdTpRmqPu9Zurw2KXtKx0CaMDHH0uCf9-xNCzDyQdC9FhCQPKZkFK9vgGicszgwNZFMbx26_j/s1600/1263444_f260.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyFEVIkQkba0uCELusbYfVtdbcW8lPAcAFlTM2N0b22O1AEC7_Y36KQ5ppBg9RBcLqaJ6QdTpRmqPu9Zurw2KXtKx0CaMDHH0uCf9-xNCzDyQdC9FhCQPKZkFK9vgGicszgwNZFMbx26_j/s1600/1263444_f260.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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Dwight is fully on his own when it comes to class projects, other than a little constructive input or guidance. I do not touch his work. It is HIS work and not mine and I make that very clear. "I've told him that I already graduated, so I don't have to do school projects. Now it is his turn. So far, so good.<br />
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Young Bob is bright, like his brothers, and has no trouble with his homework, except when he misreads the directions. Until recently, I'd only get an occasional question for clarification of instructions but he completed his work quickly and, for the most part, without errors. <br />
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Now, though, he is bored with the work and somehow "forgets" he has homework. I should be better about checking the online "blackboard" the teacher posts to, but I admit, that is something I've let slide. I feel deeply that it should not be the responsibility of the parent to take an extra step to monitor the child's homework. When Bob failed to turn in his weekly word study for the first time, he got a stern reprimand from me and while the teacher said he didn't need to do it over the weekend, mean mom (me) said he did have to do it.<br />
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He tried one more time to tell me he didn't have homework but I pressed and learned he did. I gave him a final warning. "Homework is to be completed on time and turned in to the teacher or privileges will be lost." My job is to be firm but loving, not a pushover. Parenting is hard, it's a job to be done. We can, and should, snuggle our kids at bedtime. Homework time is not the time for coddling.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI-JTIlcTfIyOBxVDk9Hin17xPUx7DYgUuUUBqF788T1h6NQPopNIWQbnuwPmcFLNq7D6TcijY-iasohCBZ1mJz_9FAWa8GxqrkDQmeYSUCzQsrIC8icN80AimHr8TAnzIYAfv2Lz8O1jn/s1600/50314_113131222050218_6794094_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI-JTIlcTfIyOBxVDk9Hin17xPUx7DYgUuUUBqF788T1h6NQPopNIWQbnuwPmcFLNq7D6TcijY-iasohCBZ1mJz_9FAWa8GxqrkDQmeYSUCzQsrIC8icN80AimHr8TAnzIYAfv2Lz8O1jn/s320/50314_113131222050218_6794094_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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The boys have full control over whether they suffer consequences at school at at home. Do the work and everything is great. Don't do the work and grades suffer and Mom takes away ipods and screen time. It is a simple equation.<br />
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I know that my methods and stick-to-it-iveness get more fine-tuned as each of my boys goes through the early elementary years. Hopefully, by the time Harold reaches 2nd grade, I'll be near perfect. I should be, but probably won't be. I'll be better, though, and he'll be better off because of it. <br />
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As Zack enters high school, I am glad we set good habits at the start of his academic path. It isn't an easy road but we march on and learn as we go. Establishing these routines sets the boys up, as best we can, for success in school and wherever they land after graduation.BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-47683061024531855662012-03-10T20:22:00.000-05:002012-03-10T20:22:59.525-05:00Spring Forward to a Better Night's Sleep<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Daylight savings time change is a perfect time to readjust your child's sleep routine. </span></span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"> Early riser? Don't change their bedtime in real time. If his bedtime is usually 7:00, put him to bed at 8:00 tomorrow, it's the same as tonight on his body clock, but an hour later for you in the morning if he sleeps until the same time in the morning. </span></span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"> A child who usually wakes at 5:30 just might sleep until 6:30 with this change!</span></span></h6>BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-7169640530763942602012-03-02T17:13:00.000-05:002012-03-02T17:13:59.286-05:00Happy Birthday Dr. SuessI couldn't have said it better myself. <br />
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Words to live by and words to teach our kids to live by:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj6iKcLqArre3T16-7Bs0UhFPZM1If2nUUD61MuJT9zI-mLGG8RLmrg8jN3FLh5k3oycL4ein8oVAGkcNMHWBQR0DGqr7smAgpTEcXNRIPsC_wckIsy3-oFuLv0n2Ba7QthbQEFT49hJOG/s1600/Dr.+Seuss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj6iKcLqArre3T16-7Bs0UhFPZM1If2nUUD61MuJT9zI-mLGG8RLmrg8jN3FLh5k3oycL4ein8oVAGkcNMHWBQR0DGqr7smAgpTEcXNRIPsC_wckIsy3-oFuLv0n2Ba7QthbQEFT49hJOG/s1600/Dr.+Seuss.jpg" /></a></div>BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-27584697243083242502012-02-24T20:21:00.002-05:002012-02-24T20:30:39.949-05:00No Use CryingIt's all fun and games until something upsets the apple cart, so to speak.<br />
<a data-mce-href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/applecart.jpg" href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/applecart.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-390" data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/applecart.jpg" height="178" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/applecart.jpg" title="applecart" width="200" /></a><br />
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Single parenting is not easy, nor is it complicated. The hardest part, for me, besides having to do absolutely everything- every day, is the logistics of getting the boys to their various appointments and activities, all at the same time. It's not rocket science, though, all it takes is for me to swallow my pride and ask for help. Thanks to supportive friends, we work it out.<br />
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What throws me off my game is anything that goes wrong. One little thing that adds extra work to my day can really knock me off track.<br />
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Today I really did feel like crying over spilt milk. Here's what happened...<br />
Dwight poured himself a glass of milk this morning. He had a few sips and then put it in the fridge. Yes, I've told him not to do this what feels like a thousand times. I reminded him two days ago. He is 11 years old, though, so my expectations only reach so high. In his mind, thanks to our philosophy of minimizing waste, he was doing the right thing.<br />
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Tonight, during the tiresome, yet necessary task of making dinner for the boys, I knocked the glass of milk over- in the fridge. Insert exasperated sigh here...<br />
<a data-mce-href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/spilled-milk.jpg" href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/spilled-milk.jpg"><img alt="" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-387" data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/spilled-milk.jpg" height="500" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/spilled-milk.jpg" title="spilled-milk" width="333" /></a><br />
My initial instinct was to yell, growl, find someone else to clean it up. Facts are facts, however annoying, it was my fault and no one else would, or should, clean it up. So, slightly dramatically, I admit, I cleaned it up. Bounty paper towels are a staple in our house for a reason. Spills happen. In the end of the day, it truly isn't worth crying or yelling over spilt milk.<br />
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It's just a bit of a mess. No one was hurt. The fridge was due for a little cleaning anyway. I soaked up the milk, sprayed it down with a water/white vinegar solution and wiped it again. A half roll of Bounty in the trash and the job was done. I poured myself a drink, sat down and watched my boys calmly watching The Amazing Race. <br />
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After 14+ months at this job of single parenting, I'm happy to say that that I am still not a yeller. It's not always easy and is a big relief to know. An incident like the refrigerator milk spill is a cliche reminder. It really isn't worth crying/yelling over spilt milk. Only a handful of things warrant a parent yelling. It's a hard habit to break, but the kids REALLY appreciate it and actually listen better when parents don't yell.<br />
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We are 75% finished with this deployment. I can almost see the end of the road where I know Horatio will be home and it won't be as much of a struggle to keep my patience in tact. When Horatio is home, he often helps with the milk spills or pours the drink. For that, I am thankful.<br />
<a data-mce-href="https://www.stirrings.com/age_gateway?destination=content%2Fcosmopolitan-mixer" href="https://www.stirrings.com/age_gateway?destination=content%2Fcosmopolitan-mixer"><img alt="" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-384" data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/nantucketcosmo-250.jpg" height="246" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/nantucketcosmo-250.jpg" title="NantucketCosmo-250" width="250" /></a>BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-46154417543775177162012-02-21T07:47:00.001-05:002012-02-21T07:47:26.107-05:00Writing ContestStaying connected during deployment can be a challenge, so when MilitaryBases.com ran a writing contest called, "you're the expert," I knew this would be a great topic.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Turned out I was right because<i> they chose my piece as the 1st prize winner!</i></span><br />
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Thank you MilitaryBases.com<br />
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<a data-mce-href="http://militarybases.com/blog/staying-connected-during-deployment/" href="http://militarybases.com/blog/staying-connected-during-deployment/">http://militarybases.com/blog/staying-connected-during-deployment/</a>BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-37158537500088995172012-02-16T08:10:00.000-05:002012-02-16T08:10:06.387-05:00Another Day in Autism LandThe laws in Autism Land are different from the laws in Neurotypical Land and anyone with a kid who earned the family the right to live in A.L. can tell you this is true. Sometimes the A.L. laws contradict the N.T. laws but in the end of the day, no matter how the N.T. world feels about it, the A.L. laws take precedent.<br />
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Sometimes you just have to cancel a dentist appointment. <br />
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Is it considered illness, a legitimate reason for cancellation, when the reason, summed up, is Autism?<br />
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I've had dentist appointments for all four boys on the calendar for 6 months. The office assistant called on Tuesday to confirm said appointments. All was well, so I said we'd see her there, 9:00 Thursday morning.<br />
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Well, then Autism roared it's kooky head.<br />
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Zack has a week full of long term assignments (some past due), meetings for high school preparation, and tests. He entered the house last night in a fog of frustration. On top of it all, the school bus keeps getting more crowded and he never gets a seat to himself. This probably sounds silly to anyone not affected by the sensory storm of Autism, but in our world, sitting smooshed against someone, other than family or a close friend, on a small bus seat, would be like having your seat-mate lick your cheek. <i>Really</i>. It's hard to understand, but kids with sensory integration disorder can feel "creepy crawly," crowded and confused, when strangers get too close. At the end of a chaotic middle school day, Zack just wants his space and there's nothing I can do about it except understand how it ends his day with a boot kick to the brain. <br />
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So, as we meandered carefully through the maze of homework, dinner and de-stressing, I mentioned that he could sleep in the next morning because he and his brothers had a dentist appointment. You'd have thought I told him he had four more science projects and he'd have to sit with not one, but two, kids on the bus. <br />
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It was an utter meltdown. <br />
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Sometimes you just have to cancel a dentist appointment. <br />
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It's a judgement call. I hope the dentist office assistant understands, but it's the right call. Taking Zack to the dentist today would have been bad for everyone. Taking an already wound up sensory confused, frustrated kid with autism, to a place where they strap a paper bib to his chest, touch his face and stick their fingers in his mouth, would not have ended well for anyone. <br />
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I'm the mom. I have to try to make my boy's world as inviting as possible. I try to help him avoid hostile environments of all kinds and to him, today, the dentist office would have been a battlefield, so I sent him off to school. <br />
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Who'd have ever thought that middle school would be the lesser of two evils???BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-48414207899079545272012-01-02T11:30:00.000-05:002012-01-02T11:30:20.966-05:00One thing I've always done, every since Horatio first started traveling for extended periods of time, 20 years ago, is redecorate to pass the time.<br />
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It all started when we lived in Scotland. Newly married and isolated in a small town on the west coast of Scotland, I was bored and lonely and watched whatever American television I could find. I watched Oprah every day. She was my link back to the U.S.<br />
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She had decorating tips on the show even back then and I used to try to implement them. I'd move pictures around, move furniture around, buy accents. Horatio never knew what he might find when he returned from a trip to Brussels, Amsterdam, The Hebrides, etc.<br />
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As time has passed, my redecorating efforts have increased. I've progressed to moving large furniture, with the help of Dwight, my muscle man 11 year old son. I plant flowers and bushes and seed the grass. Once, I painted a bathroom.<br />
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Horatio left on Friday after a great two week visit. While he was here we talked about painting the off white/yellow family room.<br />
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I dropped Horatio at the airport at 9:30 and by 10:00 I was at Home Depot buying paint, rollers, brushes, tape and more. (We'd already chosen the color we'd seen at our friends' house on Christmas Eve.)<br />
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I drove home, moved furniture away from the walls, climbed up on a ladder and started taping up the trim and ceiling.<br />
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The taping took 2 hours, requiring some precarious balancing for the peaks of the vaulted ceilings, and was tiring, but I probably would have started to paint at that point had I not had 4 children asking when we could have dinner. They have a tendency to need to eat a few times per day.<br />
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<a data-mce-href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/before-painting.jpg" href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/before-painting.jpg"><img alt="" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-309" data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/before-painting.jpg" height="480" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/before-painting.jpg" title="before painting" width="640" /></a><br />
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The next morning I was painting by 8 am. I banished the kids to the playroom/rec room in the basement and they were pretty good about giving me the time to paint. <br />
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Once, Dwight came up to talk with me and put his hand on the wet wall. He learned his lesson. Surprisingly, Harold was pretty good about it. He came up to talk to me several times, but kept his hands off the walls.<br />
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The painting took 3 1/2 hours. (Thank you <a data-mce-href="http://www.behr.com/dsm-ext/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2e39ea6621ca5110VgnVCM1000008119fea9RCRD&vgnextfmt=default#vgnextoid=8328ea6621ca5110VgnVCM1000008119fea9RCRD;channel=EXPLORE;view=26" href="http://www.behr.com/dsm-ext/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2e39ea6621ca5110VgnVCM1000008119fea9RCRD&vgnextfmt=default#vgnextoid=8328ea6621ca5110VgnVCM1000008119fea9RCRD;channel=EXPLORE;view=26" target="_blank" title="Behr Paint Colors">Behr</a> for making paint and primer in one step a possibility!)<br />
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Later in the afternoon, I took the tape down and moved the furniture back, and that took another hour.<br />
I love the results. I rearranged the furniture while I was at it, of course, and love the new arrangement, too.<br />
<div data-mce-style="text-align: center;" style="text-align: center;"><a data-mce-href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/after-1.jpg" href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/after-1.jpg"><img alt="" class="aligncenter wp-image-311" data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/after-1.jpg" height="336" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/after-1.jpg" title="after 1" width="448" /></a><a data-mce-href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/after-2.jpg" href="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/after-2.jpg"><img alt="" class="aligncenter wp-image-312" data-mce-src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/after-2.jpg" height="336" src="http://deploymentdiatribes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/after-2.jpg" title="after 2" width="448" /></a></div><br />
The thing of it is that when there is no spouse around for conversation, or, let's face it, needing meals, help, or other such attention, things get done a lot faster! Of course, in most ways it would be easier to have a spouse around during big projects to take care of the rest of the chores around the house, but the projects keep me busy and I love to see the immediate results.<br />
<br />
So, I'll probably keep changing things around and Horatio will worry about the changes while he's gone, but love it when he returns, as always.<br />
<br />
That's the way things go...BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-21316436492597545382011-12-28T19:04:00.001-05:002011-12-28T19:05:29.713-05:00Hot Pants- Yes they areI received my <a href="http://zaggora.com/pages/HOW-IT-WORKS.html">HotPants</a>, for review, from the company Zaggora over a month ago. I really had no idea what to expect but when I opened the package I found what look a bit like black bicycle pants lined in bright yellow, made from wet suit material. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYo8c_5hP0Us0LPHJOZEilzax77gIlWq_rDxshSQaKF9FP8JIBtlJHL87NsVx52gyN0zzXwJN_K0E8srOVDmyon7LV02jYkaLGww1y6M65fMLKFBtlRbRwautzEAED0FD_-rbhe-zGDjNU/s1600/hot+pants.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYo8c_5hP0Us0LPHJOZEilzax77gIlWq_rDxshSQaKF9FP8JIBtlJHL87NsVx52gyN0zzXwJN_K0E8srOVDmyon7LV02jYkaLGww1y6M65fMLKFBtlRbRwautzEAED0FD_-rbhe-zGDjNU/s200/hot+pants.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
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HotPants were born from the idea that the appearance of cellulite can be reduced by Celu-Lite technology which increases perspiration by up to 80%, reduces the appearance of cellulite and body fat.<br />
<br />
You can wear the HotPants to increase the intensity of your work out or just wear them as you do housework and go about your business. <br />
<br />
<br />
I have been running on my treadmill at least 4 days per week (most weeks) for the past year and eagerly put them on for my next morning's run. I've lost about 10 pounds since I started this work out regimen and had been stuck at there for a while, so I had high hopes, but realistic expectations.<br />
<br />
I mean, really, pants that can help you reduce your dress size?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbSOs7lkoP4BPYeR5F7JcMLPBpaShCJZnufw_CSvNkRBlZEL-JmmpfFNBmvaYS8gQ6ogPMzjyyucQAH-tOgorgDH2joZZWpNJtH7XgKga06VrHG_X2TC1xC_zqRqJn1HJZaPx0rwF607x4/s1600/hot+pants+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbSOs7lkoP4BPYeR5F7JcMLPBpaShCJZnufw_CSvNkRBlZEL-JmmpfFNBmvaYS8gQ6ogPMzjyyucQAH-tOgorgDH2joZZWpNJtH7XgKga06VrHG_X2TC1xC_zqRqJn1HJZaPx0rwF607x4/s200/hot+pants+2.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
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What I found:<br />
<br />
The HotPants increase perspiration for sure! They are super comfortable, though tight to pull on the first time and I was drenched in sweat after my workout, the pants themselves did not feel wet, nor stinky. I was completely comfortable during my workout. I did not feel sweaty under the pants at all, but I had definitely perspired more than usual during my 30 minute run.<br />
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I have not worn the HotPants around the house, only to work out.<br />
<br />
I've run 20-30 minutes 3 to five days per week, wearing the HotPants for about 6 weeks. <br />
<br />
I have dropped an additional 3 pounds since starting the wear the HotPants! I've also dropped a pant size. I like to think that it is in part due to my great work out, but I must give credit where credit is due:<br />
<br />
Thank you HotPants.<br />
<br />
My one complaint is that the seam on one side of the pants became un sewn. I quickly sewed the 2 inch gap on my sewing machine and they are as good as new.<br />
<br />
I recommend the HotPants to anyone looking to increase the power of their workout. I will continue to wear them and hope to continue the trend of weight loss.<br />
<br />
The product will be released officially next month.<br />
<br />
<i>Disclaimer: I received the <a href="http://zaggora.com/pages/HOW-IT-WORKS.html">HotPants</a> free from the company for my review. The opinions are mine and are honest.</i>BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-1433522463790365622011-12-27T15:29:00.000-05:002011-12-27T15:29:14.187-05:00Book Review: Silver Smoke (Seven Halos Series #1)Silver Smoke a great book for fans of fantasy and the supernatural. Monica Leonelle's first book was fabulous. She is a great writer.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTQWRFQgnRg23qU4zKb4HK3gJe7tREqa3FOABX55cNKdmJJ2bLYdrFlnTst5Xonh_0mkBjHavpXLZ1cI_2MXn_wv0h1CJCrv3cJcjHVLzZJ6wAED4IpXRdqHcsfUXiG-6mBmfXrtKSv8xK/s1600/book.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTQWRFQgnRg23qU4zKb4HK3gJe7tREqa3FOABX55cNKdmJJ2bLYdrFlnTst5Xonh_0mkBjHavpXLZ1cI_2MXn_wv0h1CJCrv3cJcjHVLzZJ6wAED4IpXRdqHcsfUXiG-6mBmfXrtKSv8xK/s1600/book.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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The story is addictive and the book was hard to put down. The characters are complex and have flaws, that make them complicated and very realistic. It is easy to connect to the characters and to root for them all the way to the end.<br />
<br />
I found the story to be complex and unpredictable, which I love. <br />
<br />
The author has crafted a tale of myth, legend and lore which suck the reader in from the beginning. There are the classic story conflicts of good vs evil, as well as more subtle conflicts woven throughout the story.<br />
<br />
<br />
You'll find yourself rooting for the unlikeliest of heros and will not be disappointed.<br />
<br />
The book can be found here: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Silver-Smoke-Seven-Halos-ebook/dp/B004MMERZ6/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top">Silver Smoke</a>BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-58753373682841393262011-12-12T18:25:00.001-05:002011-12-12T18:41:47.417-05:00Great Gift Giveaway- Hickory Farms<div style="text-align: justify;">It feels like Hickory Farms has been around forever. 60 years, to be exact. They have been around so long because they are a great company and offer a quality product and fabulous customer service. Of particular interest to many of my readers, and to me, is the fact that many of their <a href="http://www.hickoryfarms.com/category%7Ename%7EMilitary%20Gifts%7Ec%7E600.asp">products ship free to military addresses. </a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">CELEBRATING 60 YEARS OF HICKORY FARMS®<br />
When Hickory Farms was founded in 1951 in the pastoral farm country of Ohio, the products quickly became a hallmark gift for those who appreciate rich and savory foods. For the past 60 years, Hickory Farms’ commitment to personalized service and the legendary quality of its products have kept the company popular on gift lists everywhere.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
Hickory Farms brings the best of Midwest values and unwavering quality to consumers in North America and the U.S. Armed Forces all over the world. Customers can find Hickory Farms’ award winning sausage, cheese and other specialty items at 750+ Hickory Farms holiday stores, online at hickoryfarms.com, in catalogs, and at leading retailers throughout the holiday<br />
season.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
Hickory Farms has a great tradition of giving.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">THE TRADITION OF GIVING BACK<br />
Hickory Farms is committed to giving back through its partnership with Share Our Strength®, a leading national not-for profit organization working to end childhood hunger in North America. This holiday season, when customers purchase a Party Planner gift box, Hickory Farms will contribute $5 to <i><b>Share Our Strength’s No Kid Hungry® Campaign*</b></i>. Customers will also have the opportunity to include a $1 donation to the campaign with their purchase at a Hickory Farms store or at hickoryfarms.com. Hickory Farms’ passion for fighting childhood hunger has generated more than $1.1M in contributions to Share Our Strength since 2008. The company is looking to raise and/or donate an additional $700,000 this coming holiday season. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>Beyond Share Our Strength,</b></i> <i><b>Hickory Farms is a strong supporter of the U.S. Armed Forces serving across the globe. All year long, Hickory Farms offers free shipping on select products to military addresses to ensure that families can send loved ones much needed food gifts and warm wishes</b></i>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;">These items, and more, are shipped free to military addresses:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaNKdi7aGPzyCIVzjGbPzTjzfxuwzP8zWp2P0P-EXC2A3kFbVYvMLDTCK5Fd24CnNPfkrQYHeSK7SnXge8ru26mz5X5dKt3YPMyjnAOsXXAfhYFqw27wR36b5FCLGB19BRNt4tX3ke_bdt/s1600/000026_pi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaNKdi7aGPzyCIVzjGbPzTjzfxuwzP8zWp2P0P-EXC2A3kFbVYvMLDTCK5Fd24CnNPfkrQYHeSK7SnXge8ru26mz5X5dKt3YPMyjnAOsXXAfhYFqw27wR36b5FCLGB19BRNt4tX3ke_bdt/s200/000026_pi.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDesF75PLnYs1hFJdCicuOEsflsJRpPnk90lLoejK-p1C3uVoykOFPDGPb9Ok5Pom6SRWltPmJT75tg5rkB-E-N8Asz6AtCCm0RNLZxblh_q6M_07G0FyfQHero23mZNpvJhA6SspNFwhU/s1600/000035_pi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDesF75PLnYs1hFJdCicuOEsflsJRpPnk90lLoejK-p1C3uVoykOFPDGPb9Ok5Pom6SRWltPmJT75tg5rkB-E-N8Asz6AtCCm0RNLZxblh_q6M_07G0FyfQHero23mZNpvJhA6SspNFwhU/s200/000035_pi.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoV4LRLCPbx40N03eULLdUo7zv4ucK1r1p6Y05Zn3a7wc1MLq4xznfpe6g6O-F1TULNGAX26VwweP3bgnNhpwIPBEYTmjQSpXJXJ8uWJfqCyOywcjgpaYlqZEUEQq9iwD-rVZBRHJlf3Xf/s1600/020229_pi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoV4LRLCPbx40N03eULLdUo7zv4ucK1r1p6Y05Zn3a7wc1MLq4xznfpe6g6O-F1TULNGAX26VwweP3bgnNhpwIPBEYTmjQSpXJXJ8uWJfqCyOywcjgpaYlqZEUEQq9iwD-rVZBRHJlf3Xf/s200/020229_pi.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>PARTY PLANNER GIFT BOX, $45 </b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Supports Share Our Strength’s No Kid Hungry ® Campaign</i> </div><div style="text-align: justify;">This gift is a flavorful array of our savory Summer Sausage and smooth and creamy cheeses with all the trimmings. With every one sold this year, we will donate $5 to Share Our Strength’s No Kid Hungry ® Campaign. Maximum donation $500,000, offer valid thru 1/31/12.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS GIFT BOX, $55</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Free shipping to APO/FPO military addresses</i>. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">Enjoy the favorite gift sent to loved ones serving overseas, featuring the award winning flavor of Our Signature Beef Summer Sausage and Italian Recipe Summer Sausages. The combination pairs perfectly with our deliciously creamy cheeses, Sweet Hot and Honey Pineapple Mustards and savory crackers.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>SUMMER SAUSAGE & CHEESE, $40</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Free shipping to APO/FPO military addresses</i>. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">As favorite for over half a century, this <a class="kLink" href="http://www.shesaved.com/?s=hickory+farms#" id="KonaLink1" style="font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important; font-weight: inherit !important; position: static; text-decoration: underline !important;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit ! important; font-weight: inherit ! important; position: static;"><span class="kLink" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 255); color: blue; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit ! important; font-weight: inherit ! important; position: static;">classic </span><span class="kLink" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 255); color: blue; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit ! important; font-weight: inherit ! important; position: static;">gift</span></span></a> features Our Signature Beef Summer Sausage complemented by our new Farmhouse Cheddar, Smoked Gouda and Smoked Cheddar Cheeses.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>ORCHARD’S BOUNTY BASKET, $78</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The fresh fruit lover will adore the Orchard’s Bounty Basket filled with hand packed-to-order assortment of Fuji Apples, Mandarin Oranges, luscious Red D’Anjou and Crown Comice® Pears. Includes Our Signature Beef Summer Sausage, Farmhouse Cheddar and roasted mix nuts in a keepsake Peterboro® Basket.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b><b>WARM AND HEARTY WELCOME, $30</b></b></div><b> </b><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Free shipping to APO/FPO military addresses. </i></div><div style="text-align: justify;">This collection of classics includes both beef and turkey Summer Sausages, as well as Hickory Farms’ new, smooth and creamy Farmhouse Cheddar.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b> One Lucky Reader will win a gift box from Hickory Farms. <br />
To Enter, </b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>1st Entry: Become a follower of the blog and leave a comment here telling me you did so.</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>2nd Entry: Become a follower of <a href="http://deploymentdiatribes.wordpress.com/">The Deployment Diatribes</a> and leave a comment here telling me you did so. </b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>3rd Entry: "Like" <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Been-There-Done-That-Mom/342378278236">Been There Done That Mom</a> on Facebook and leave a comment here telling me you did so.</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>4th Entry: Follow <a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/BTDTMom">@BTDTmom</a> on Twitter and leave a comment here telling me you did so. </b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b><br />
</b><br />
<strong>The giveaway will close Sunday night at 11:59 pm.</strong><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>After Verification, the winner will be contacted via email and will receive the product directly from Hickory Farms.</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b><br />
</b></div>BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7318552902195761043.post-90665800108070246012011-12-07T21:46:00.001-05:002011-12-18T14:55:55.048-05:00Breastfeeding and Pregnancy- It must be said...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZYAIrdFouGNRA0AHK6o5HJfdcg_LV_oO95xhK0redFtzUwyhSM_S4RNqxQ3-z4WKQQ7TB4pwaPzMWGHmlb_nOuMMlvFDED1ERxmV1xMl9-qGvjNGa-K1eD_4jR392IgSqjlhRSFfPYvuz/s1600/pregnant-woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZYAIrdFouGNRA0AHK6o5HJfdcg_LV_oO95xhK0redFtzUwyhSM_S4RNqxQ3-z4WKQQ7TB4pwaPzMWGHmlb_nOuMMlvFDED1ERxmV1xMl9-qGvjNGa-K1eD_4jR392IgSqjlhRSFfPYvuz/s320/pregnant-woman.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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In my opinion, I should not have to say this, but I just heard from a friend who is pregnant with her second child, in less than a year, because "breastfeeding did not serve as adequate birth control." <br />
<br />
<b>Seriously? </b><br />
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In this day and age, with information so readily available, I don't know why people still don't know that breastfeeding will not prevent ovulation in most women. If ovulation isn't prevented, pregnancy is possible.<br />
<br />
If you want to prevent another pregnancy after you've had a baby, you need to use actual birth control methods. If you are breastfeeding, the best option is a barrier method, such as condoms. Any hormonal contraceptive has the chance of changing your milk supply, no matter how much your doctor tries to reassure you that it won't.<br />
<br />
If you want to continue to breastfeed your baby, exclusively or not, be very wary of putting any hormones into your body. The potential for your milk to be at least partially dried up is high. <br />
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I repeat, condoms are your best bet to prevent an unwanted, untimely, pregnancy after the birth of your child- until you wean your baby.<br />
<br />
"But it took me two years to conceive this baby with clomid and IUI. There's no way I'm just going to get pregnant without help this time." Except that you might! Many people find that their fertility is much higher the second time around and "find themselves pregnant" only months after the birth of their first baby.<br />
<br />
So, I repeat, if you want to plan your family, spacing your children according to your schedule, use birth control.<br />
<br />
Breastfeeding is best for baby, having a sibling born in the same year might not be. <br />
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<script src="http://www.linkytools.com/basic_linky_include.aspx?id=121545" type="text/javascript" ></script>BeenThereDoneThatMom.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12694066924455292755noreply@blogger.com1