09 February 2011

Private Parts- keeping the lines of communication open

Sometimes my husband's absence is more glaring than others.  Last night was one of those nights.  I walked into my bedroom, having settled the three year old in his bed.  I found the three older boys sitting on my bed, talking about Pokemon.

I walked over to the bed and the conversation took a turn...  to the uncomfortable side...

6 1/2 year old- "Mom why do private parts sometimes stick out...  like mine is now?"

12 1/2 year old- "Oh, that's called an erection."

10 year old- "Isn't it an irection?"

12 1/2 year old- "No, it's erection, or sometimes people call it a boner."

6 1/2 year old- "a boner?"

10 year old- "Yep."

12 1/2 year old- "Cause it's like there's a bone in it."

10 year old- "What if it snaps?"

39 year old mom- "You have to make sure that doesn't happen."

10 year old- "But what if it does?"

39 year old mom- "Sweetheart, you just have to make sure it doesn't because that is a very serious injury...  OK, everyone into bed now.  It's reading time."

6 1/2 year old- "Mom, when will it go away, it's very uncomfortable."

39 year old mom- "Soon, sweet pea, soon.  Let's brush your teeth and you'll probably forget all about it."

And thank heaven for small favors, he did.

It's times like these that the temporary long-term absence of my husband is more obvious.  Of course, when I sent him an email to tell him to get himself home so HE could deal with this conversation, rather than I, he said, "that's ok, you go ahead."

I've been the facts of life teacher in the family ever since the first question surfaced 3+ years ago.  I don't shy away from it because I'd rather they get the information from me than from classmates.  After last night's conversation, though, I am reminded that they get information from their peers no matter what.  It just makes it more clear that my input is very important and I have to ensure they get the facts at home before they get them at school.

I bought a book back when the questions first came up.  It is called, It's So Amazing.  It is a great resource for kids to get questions answered about everything from the basics of reproduction to HIV, sexual abuses and more.  I highly recommend it.  The creators of It's So Amazing also wrote the book It's Perfectly Normal for pre-adolescent kids.  That will be my next purchase. 

It would be easy to cower from these topics while my husband is deployed, but the truth is, the more open I am and the more information they get from me, the more comfortable they will be talking about these important issues with me.

Clearly, when they are throwing the B word around with me in the room, it is a sign they feel at ease talking with me.  It's important now, but it's even more important when they are teenagers.  I'm happy the lines of communication are open.

It's not always easy to talk about the birds and the bees with our kids, but parenting isn't easy, you just have to buck up and do it!

1 comment:

  1. I'll have to check out that book. I have two boys of my own and they are still little, but I am nervous for the day they'll be asking me all sorts of questions!